Things I Didn’t Do Yesterday Because I Thought It Was February 29th

by Lincoln Sedlacek

  • Use my now-expired Macy’s coupons
  • Mail in grad school applications with March 1st deadlines
  • Show up for the meeting with my parole officer
  • Celebrate my daughter’s birthday
  • Get my daughter a birthday present that would make up for also forgetting her birthday last year
  • Send out the church’s February news round-up
  • Pay protection money
  • Remind crime lord, who said it would be a shame if anything happened to my seven-year-old daughter, that my daughter is actually eight now
  • Flip my calendar to March

-Melissa Chiasson, Jordy Greenblatt, Lincoln Sedlacek