“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler. Nope, let’s try that again: Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Crap, that’s not quite it… How about, ‘All should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.’ Yep, that’s it. Nice work, everyone!”
–Albert Einstein
“Something I learned early on is that, when I’m on the field and I’m about to call the play, I can’t worry about what I can’t control… But what I can control is my attitude, my effort, and my focus every day. Well, that, and gauge pressure of the game balls. And the impartiality of the judge. And, to some degree, the demographics of the jury members. Whether or not a monetary incentive is given to a low-level intern to falsely confess to wrong-doing and take the fall for you, and the size of that incentive. The quality of a courtroom artist’s sketch of you, if you decide you care about that sort of thing. Not the size of your penis, though. I’ve tried to control that, and it doesn’t work.”
–Tom Brady
“My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for Beyoncé.”
–John F. Kennedy
“Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching. Unless you’re practicing French kissing with a taxidermied turtle. Then make sure no one is watching.”
–Thomas Jefferson
You have no chance to survive make your time.
-Abraham Lincoln, Lincoln-Douglas Debates
“That’s one small step for Neil Armstrong, and one giant leap for people who are going to remember Neil Armstrong’s name for all eternity.”
–Neil Armstrong
“I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me. Later tonight, when we are playing Sorry!”
–Jesus Christ
“Keep your friends close, and the complimentary cheese tray closer.”
–Benjamin Franklin
“When Parliament moves to disallow factionalization under the guise of the common good, it grants to the majority the power to sustain its own rule indefinitely and inevitably paves the way to tyranny and abuse.”
–George Clinton, In Defense of Funkadelic
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making babies.”
–Allen Saunders
PUT IT ALL ON RED 