Things I Would Expect Someone Named Stormy Daniels to Say

by Jordy Greenblatt

  • Yarrrr… there be a strong wind comin’ up a-stern
  • Turn back? Ol’ Stormy Daniels was ne’er set off course by a spot o’ rain!
  • I sent me harpoon a half yard into the heart o’ the wretched beast! Mrs. Daniels and the li’l ones will feast for nigh a fortnight on the flesh o’ that foul kracken o’ the deep!
  • Ahoy mateys, ye best be certain to leave a dram of that there grog for yer dear ol’ Capt’n Dan!
  • It’s 1 million for a half hour interview, 5 million for the tapes, and 20 if you want a swab of his DNA.
Advertisements