PUT IT ALL ON RED

New content every weekday. Sometimes.

Tip of the Day #470

by Jordy Greenblatt

If you want to hijack an account from a hipster, try the login “password” with the password “login.”

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Just a Thought: Lazy Cats

by Jordy Greenblatt

I wonder if my cat would feel ashamed of himself if he were capable of understanding that I recently mistook a motionless pair of dark pants lying in a heap on the bed for him.

Just a Thought: Toasters

by Jordy Greenblatt

Considering its functional simplicity, the toaster is a remarkable invention for its sheer transformative power. When I see someone eating a piece of toast for breakfast, my first thought is, “I bet that warm crunchy exterior perfectly complements the pillowy bread inside. You, my friend, have made an excellent choice this morning.” If I saw someone eating a plain piece of bread for breakfast, my first thought would probably be, “What the hell are you doing, you blight on society? That’s not how people eat bread. Were you raised by raccoons?”

Just a Thought: The Constitution

by Jordy Greenblatt

Is there a way to pass an amendment that’s just a pointer back to the 14th?

Just a Thought: Elton John

by Jordy Greenblatt

I’m beginning to think Elton John’s Your Song isn’t about me at all.

The Cats Behind Game of Thrones

by Jordy Greenblatt

  • Meowsie Williams
  • Kitty Harrington
  • Catalie Dormer
  • Panther Dinklage
  • Nikalico Coster-Waldau
  • Clawrice van Houten
  • Fluffie Allen
  • Yawn Bradley-West
  • Meowin’ Rheon
  • Napalie Emmanuel
  • Chasin’ Mamoa
  • Hisselle Fairley
  • Snack Gleeson
  • Purry McCann
  • Snarles Dance

Unconventional Uses for Common Hashtags

by Lincoln Sedlacek

Ugg, my brita’s broken. Guess it’s just a pitcher now. #nofilter

Look out US Census Bureau, my forms are in the mail! #represent

Wow i met five people named Oscar today. I really figured one of them would be latino but turns out there were all caucasian. #oscarssowhite

Lot of snow and ice on the roads tonight. Everyone drive slowly and be safe! Remember, #yolo

Standing in front of the memorial commemorating where Joan of Arc was burned at the stake. Amazing thinking of this amazing woman’s place in history! #inspired #myhero #thisgirlisonfire

This Day in History: Nov. 2, 1948

by Lincoln Sedlacek

Dewey defeats Truman in thrilling game of Twister.

Quizzes I Submitted to Buzzfeed That They Refused to Publish

by Lincoln Sedlacek

Ben & Jerry’s Flavor or Pornographic Film Title?

We Can Tell Exactly Where You Live – Seriously, the Exact Address – Based on the Answer to This One Simple Question

How Many of These Offensive Slurs Do You Know?

Do You Know the Answer to These Five Questions About Trying LSD for the First Time? I’m Asking for a Friend.

Are These Words Cheeses, Fonts, or Things I Just Made Up to Distract You While This Site Puts Malware on Your Computer?

Can You Answer These Nine Questions About the Digits in Your Social Security Number?

Which Third of the Human Centipede Are You?

Tip of the Day #202

by Lincoln Sedlacek

It’s very important to proofread any written content you plan to publish in a pubic space.

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