PUT IT ALL ON RED

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Tag: long distance

March 7, 2016

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Moving for Love

by Lincoln Sedlacek

  • If you moved and things didn’t work out, would you or your partner resent the other?
  • Have you and your partner discussed a long-term future together?
  • Are you sure?
  • Sometimes you think you and your partner are discussing a long-term future together, but what you’re really discussing is what it would take to convince you to move wherever they go to chase their dreams. Not exactly a question, but important to think about nonetheless.
  • Is the new city one you can picture yourself being happy in?
  • At the very least, is the new city one you can picture yourself not living in Cleveland in?
  • Who are you trying to convince by looking something like this up on the internet, anyway? You realize pretty much the only possible answer is “yourself,” right?
  • Okay, so you say you wouldn’t resent your partner if you moved and things didn’t work out. Let’s litmus-test that: do you already find yourself resenting your partner for minor things, like never liking your Facebook posts or frequently eating the last brownie?
  • Can you afford the move?
  • If not, can you afford hearing the implied “I told you so” in your mother’s voice when you call her to ask for money?
  • Do you love your relationship with this person more than you love your local craft beer?
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February 29, 2016

Skype Call Quality Survey

by Lincoln Sedlacek

How would you rate the quality of this call?

 

How would you rate the quality of your significant other during this call?

 

How many times was the phrase “relationship issues” used during this call?

 

Would the sound quality of this conversation have been better had you been in Cleveland with your significant other, talking to them in person?

 

More importantly, are you willing to move to Cleveland for something you’re no longer quite sure is love?

 

Please select any video issues you experienced during the call.
Ο Video was grainy
Ο Video was jumpy, like your significant other any time you used the word “commitment”
Ο Image froze – only a few times, but somehow it always managed to catch your significant other looking at their phone

 

Please check all of the audio issues you experienced during this call.
Ο Echo, specifically of the phrase, “I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do about that!”
Ο Audio was slightly behind video and way behind where you had hoped your relationship would be after two years
Ο Audio cut out more often than your significant other did the month after your dog died

 

Would this call have been more enjoyable if, instead of talking to your significant other, you had just talked to yourself while pretending a banana you were holding was a phone?

 

Did the call disconnect?
If so, please select the reason for the disconnection.
Ο Connection to internet was poor
Ο Your significant other’s connection to internet was poor – even worse than their connection to you
Ο You disconnected on purpose because your significant other is a mediocre conversationalist

 

Would you like to contact a Skype Support Representative in your area and see if they are free for drinks?

 

 

 

–Melissa Chiasson and Lincoln Sedlacek

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