Great Pick-Up Lines to Use in the Emergency Room

by Lincoln Sedlacek

  • Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven and then immediately got hit by that bus?
  • I have two conditions. One is bacterial meningitis. The other is that we go out for drinks sometime when we don’t require emergency medical care.
  • Do you have a dislodged, protruding pelvic bone, or are you just happy to see me?
  • If it weren’t for the fluid filling my lungs, you would be taking my breath away.
  • Do you have advanced melanoma? Because that is the biggest pair of lumps I’ve ever seen.
  • Excuse me, the nurse said that I should talk to you about my erection that’s lasted more than eight hours.
  • God, you make me wish I weren’t terminal.
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