New content every weekday. Sometimes.
by Lincoln Sedlacek
- Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven and then immediately got hit by that bus?
- I have two conditions. One is bacterial meningitis. The other is that we go out for drinks sometime when we don’t require emergency medical care.
- Do you have a dislodged, protruding pelvic bone, or are you just happy to see me?
- If it weren’t for the fluid filling my lungs, you would be taking my breath away.
- Do you have advanced melanoma? Because that is the biggest pair of lumps I’ve ever seen.
- Excuse me, the nurse said that I should talk to you about my erection that’s lasted more than eight hours.
- God, you make me wish I weren’t terminal.