Science Facts Approved by the Texas State Board of Education

by Melissa Chiasson

Tyrannosaurus Rex is Greek or Latin or whatever for “evil king lizard that ate other lizards and occasionally people because they totally coexisted. ”

Evolution, while supported by a wealth of experimental data, cannot explain why gingers exist or why they are so awful.

Scientists assert that global warming has already led to a small rise in sea levels, but this is actually the result of angels crying over embryonic stem cell research.

Fracking adds tons of healthy, potentially flammable, nutrients to your drinking water while making your home a hub of fun seismic activity!

If you hold a trilobite to your ear, you can hear God whispering “Vote Rick Perry for President 2016.”