Just a Thought: Amtrak

by Jordy Greenblatt

I wish that, instead of executing Mussolini, his captors had forced him to run Amtrak. It’s not that I think the trains would finally run on time; it’s just that he was pretty awful and even having your lifeless body strung up and humiliatingly defaced by an angry mob in a city square isn’t quite as bad as spending every day having to deal with Amtrak.