Tip of the Day #622
by Jordy Greenblatt
Alcohol is often an effective substitute for human interaction.
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Alcohol is often an effective substitute for human interaction.
“Rock-a-Bye Baby” is still considered the second-most popular song to sing to a crying baby, topped only by “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne.
For healthy hair, shampoo, rinse, repeat, and then sing the Rites of Hellarus while kneeling within a six-foot pentagram.
The abundance of chopsticks makes sushi restaurants the perfect place to fend off surprise vampire attacks.
While a school of piranhas can devour a human in under a minute, they’ll settle for a quarter pounder if you make sure to leave off the pickles.
The best way to make your voice heard in the democratic process is to go to your polling place and scream outside the door until you are escorted off the property.
Frying an ant under a magnifying glass isn’t actually considered torture as long as the ant dies in under 10 seconds; however, it isn’t fun unless it lasts at least 7 seconds.
The three most effective chess openings against a Grand Master are the Ruy Lopez, the Queen’s Gambit, and flipping the table over.
Pornography is a great way to spice up a boring masturbation session.
Carmen Sandiego is currently at the Starbucks on Santa Monica and Bundy.
PUT IT ALL ON RED 