There’s no need to fake excitement. Physicists aren’t going to be insulted that you don’t understand the significance of the Higgs Boson. If your only indication that a scientific result is important is that some New York Times science writer thinks it is (or at least, someone else told him so and he’s afraid to look stupid) then you are officially not obligated to pretend to give a shit. You’re all welcome.
Why do cafes only ever sell hot coffee and iced coffee? I think I could make a fortune selling room temperature coffee. The target demographic is “people who have such severe caffeine addictions that they can’t wait for water to change temperature.”
I’ve spent the vast majority of my life in the New York Area but I still have no evidence of this legendary fifth borough.
The Devil’s solo is clearly a notch or two above Johnny’s. I realize that the Devil had an unfair leg up because of his kick-ass demon backup band, but the song doesn’t say, “the Devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d taken unfair advantage of the situation by getting help from his diabolical minions;” it only says, “he knew that he’d been beat.” If nobody is bothered by the demons’ participation, then I think the Devil was an obvious winner. But maybe I’m just playing Devil’s advocate.
It was a weird feeling coming back from Los Angeles to New York. The same questions kept going through my head over and over as I walked around. Where are all the mountains and beautiful swimmable beaches? Why isn’t anything green? What’s with all the speed limits and drug laws?
Anyone who calls reading, writing, and arithmetic “The Three ‘R’s” clearly didn’t go to a school that emphasized the Three ‘R’s.
At job interviews, I’m never sure how to answer the question “What’s your greatest weakness?” I wonder if pointing out that I can’t think of a good answer counts as a weakness. Maybe that’s sort of a self-defeating response.
Whenever someone claims to “curse like a sailor,” I think about the sailors I know. They pretty much all wear Polo shirts everywhere they go and their annual household income usually exceeds $500,000. I guess they might curse, but I don’t think this is the image that the expression is meant to conjure up.
If you like figs, you better not look up fig wasps. Let’s see how curious this makes you…
The moment I realized that I’m not a kid anymore was the moment I opened a present that turned out to be a sweater and instead of thinking, “Oh crap, this isn’t a toy. Well, I better fake a smile…” I thought, “Is this more of a jeans sweater or a dress-up sweater?”
PUT IT ALL ON RED 