5 Things You Should Never Put in the Dishwasher

by Lincoln Sedlacek

1. Cast Iron Swords
Cast iron requires some more attention than your regular pots and pans and shouldn’t be put in the dishwasher. Instead, wash a cast-iron sword with a sponge (don’t use soap), apply a light coating of vegetable oil, and then wipe off the excess oil as much as possible. If by chance you take off some of the sword’s smooth seasoning, you should re-season it after cleaning.

2. Pitchers of Red Dye 40 and White Tuxedos
Yes, a dishwasher will clean out an unemptied pitcher of Red Dye 40. It will clean a white tuxedo as well. But if you put both of these things in the dishwasher at the same time, your nitpicky spouse will go on and on about how you should wash the pitchers of Red Dye 40 and the white tuxedo separately.

3. Crystal Glasses or Amulets of Kalissya
This one might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people let dish detergent and heat chip or crack their fine crystal. You can protect your fine champagne glasses, along with your necklaces granting you immortality, by hand-washing them instead.

4. Bombs with Less Than 30 Minutes Left on Their Timers
Yes, a dishwasher will get a bomb reading 29:59, 16:38, or even 00:47 absolutely sparkling. But a normal dishwasher isn’t going to finish its cycle in time for you to be able to defuse the typical timed explosive, so you may want to hand-wash this one.

5. Hamsters
R.I.P. Tibbles.