The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Lemurs

by Melissa Chiasson

Respond to emails within 24 hours

Assert your dominance by marking your territory with urine and wearing a blazer

Make a list of short-, midrange-, and long-term goals

Lick every inch of your body at least twice a day

Work with other lemurs to achieve your goals

Do not eat young

Pursue your interests, like flute, or yoga, or pooping in a tree hole