7 Wonders of My Apartment

by Lincoln Sedlacek

  • Great Pyramid of Laundry: an unwashed pile of every article of clothing that I have worn in the past 4 months
  • Hanging Gardens of the Bathtub: a collection of several kinds of fungus growing from the ceiling above my shower
  • The Mausoleum of Honey Nut Cheerios: a year-old cereal box entombing several dozen cockroaches
  • Statue of Poos: an unfinished, free-standing figure on display in the toilet, upon which construction was started three weeks ago when the plumbing became clogged
  • Light of Alexander: the one and only overhead light I have gotten my landlord, Alex, to fix
  • Colossus of Roy: a life-sized statue of my good friend Roy, carved for his birthday and partially destroyed in a house fire
  • Lincoln Sedlacek: a 23-year-old man who is responsible for everything in the apartment
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