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Thesis Topics My Adviser Refused to Fund
by Jordy Greenblatt
- Low Viscosity Solutions to the Maple Syrup Stain on My Good Jeans
- A New Algorithm for Finishing That Level of Yoshi’s Island Where You Fight the Frog From Inside Its Stomach
- Optimal Temperature for Serving Revenge
- Random Walks in Large Open Domains Just to Get Some Air
- An Upper Bound on the Number of Times I Can Hear the Question “Will This Be on the Final” Without Having a Breakdown
- A Complete Characterization of Knots That I Learned the Hard Way Won’t Keep My Dog From Chasing After Squirrels
- Solutions to Jay-Z’s Fourteenth and Ninety-Sixth Problems
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PUT IT ALL ON RED 
jordy i like the last one
espec. if i read it in your voice, inside my head.