Rejected Disney Sidekicks
by Jordy Greenblatt
- Aladdin: Hassan, an enchanted fez whose hopeless crush on Jasmine’s headband causes him to feel self-conscious about his stained felt and fraying tassels
- The Lion King: Mosalo, the giraffe interior decorator of Pride Rock whose suggestions generally involve heightening doorways
- Snow White: Rusty, the eighth dwarf whose out of date mining tools regularly cause the “____ days without an accident” counter to reset
- The Little Mermaid: Starry, a starfish always looking for excuses to practice her underwater cartwheels
- Mulan: Xin Liu, a fortune cookie who announces his consistently grisly predictions through a Daffy Duck-like lisp
- Beauty and the Beast: Floretta, Belle’s laundry chute who frequently complains about her sweat stains and mocks her taste in dresses
- Toy Story: Mr. Wiggles, a mysterious tube-like toy confined to Andy’s Mom’s nightstand
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