A Few of my Job Interview Faux Pas

by Jordy Greenblatt

  • Saying “Up top!” and going for a high five at the end
  • Winking at every receptionist
  • Giving myself a pep talk during the actual interview
  • Complimenting interviewer on his “Romanesque physique”
  • Not wearing my lucky underwear
  • Not wearing any underwear
  • Using the made-up word “frabtabulous” to describe my Microsoft Excel abilities
  • Writing “Hammertime” in the “Time of Appointment” column of the sign-in sheet
  • Challenging HR representative to Mountain Dew drinking contest
  • Lying on my résumé
  • Lying that I was a Chippendale’s dancer on my résumé
  • Getting caught taking money out of interviewer’s wallet
  • Responding to every question in the form of a question like on Jeopardy
  • Asking to keep photo of HR representative’s family on vacation
  • Drumming on manager’s bald head
  • Pretending to eat priceless Fabergé egg
  • Eating Fabergé egg
  • Trying to turn bathroom line into conga line
  • Doing entire interview in Christopher Walken impression
  • Writing “Humor Blogger” under “Work Experience” on my résumé