by Lincoln Sedlacek
1. Who is Supreme Leader Snoke?
Is he a 6-foot-tall ugly guy who can use the Force? An 8-foot-tall ugly guy who can use the Force? A 12-foot-tall ugly guy who can use the Force? No one knows – but everyone wants to find out!
2. Who are the Knights of Ren?
And, more importantly: (1) Are they a boy band, and (2) will they perform during the Star Wars IX credits?
3. Will the First Order continue to be better at naming their weapons of mass destruction than the Empire was?
Unlike the so-called “Star Destroyers” and “Death Stars,” the Starkiller actually does destroy stars! Even if that’s just a side effect of its main purpose. But will the First Order keep “killing it” with their weapon nomenclature?
4. So, Luke Skywalker still acts like a whiny, angsty teenager, then?
He “felt responsible” for his apprentices’ deaths, so he went into hiding and let the populations of, what, literally five planets die so that he could indulge his guilt? I mean, yes, Luke, that’s very sad, but if you’re going to train a bunch of children how to fight with laser swords you need to be realistic about the potential negative consequences.
5. Does Maz’s “watering hole” bar do that thing with drinks where they can make the foam on top look like a little leaf?
This is the biggest question of all.