PUT IT ALL ON RED

Congrats! You’re now the proud owner of a top-of-the-line Erectworks standing desk. While many customers buy this desk thinking they’ll only use it occasionally for work, we find that it is a versatile office system that may become your new favorite piece of furniture! For those who haven’t used a standing desk before, we have compiled a list of tips to help you get the most of this desk for work (and pleasure!).

• Place the computer monitor at a comfortable height for your neck when you’re standing 24-36 inches away. A good way to measure this distance is to lean forward onto the standing desk seductively, like maybe you dropped a pen on there and have to pick it up real slowly. A second person can watch from behind to make sure you’re doing this correctly and offer feedback (e.g. “Yeah, just like that.”).
• Make sure the keyboard shelf is at a comfortable height for typing, using a tablet, or manually stimulating a sex partner as a prelude to sexual congress.
• FYI, if you’re going for the third option above, you’ll want that keyboard to be waterproof.
• We recommend you place the desk flush against a wall for better stability, however it is ideal to anchor the desk into a stud. This gives you a secure workspace where you can brace yourself or bang it out for hours without having to rely on your core strength to keep you upright.
• To avoid eye strain, take breaks every hour by looking out a window or deep into the eyes of the individual currently massaging your naked torso.
• Stretch! There’s no better way to prevent soreness and reach new heights of sexual ecstasy.

Enjoy your standing desk! We strive to provide quality products that improve workplace productivity, so please submit any comments or feedback in vivid detail to customerservice@erectworks.com. Pics also welcome.